Tuesday, July 7, 2009

How to Wash Your Clothes on the Upper East Side

When the cleaner comes, he'll introduce himself to the doorman. The doorman will get the porter, who'll stop pretending to sweep up invisible dirt from the porch and will go up to your apartment door. When you open the door, you'll look puzzled for a moment and will then ask the maid where your dirty clothes are. She'll give them to you, and you'll give them to the porter, who'll bring them back down to the cleaner. Then they'll disappear for a day or so, before being passed through the same system in reverse.

I really doubt that this is any more convenient than just washing your clothes in the basement in the building's own machines. You can't even decide when your clothes get washed. And if you lose a sock in the wash, one of five or so people (people you don't even know, with the possible exception of the maid and the doorman) could have lost it. I find it really strange, and terribly wasteful, to put such an elaborate system in place to complete such a simple task. I suspect that the rich person who's paying for it all didn't really intend from the outset to have so much hassle; it just built up over time.

Next week: How to Wipe Your Arse on the Upper East Side

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